Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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Knock Knock Come in

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Don't think of granny porn

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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