A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

hey.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Do you need any assistance?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the asian die? he was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops