i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Nah

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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Child Prostitution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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