Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Want to hear a joke? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops