Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Kevin and Ramin

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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