What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

thumb_up thumb_down -25

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

thumb_up thumb_down -35

stinky boner

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

thumb_up thumb_down +26

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops