- Anti Joke

Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

watch a i d s left

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

Dane Cook makes a joke.

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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