But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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I like the color potato.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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