Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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