how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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