What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops