A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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Read a Book.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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