Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Peas

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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