What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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