This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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