Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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