Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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