Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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justin beiber sucks

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops