How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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