What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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