If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops