An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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no

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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