Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

http://www.com/

Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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