If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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