A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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