Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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