What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

kushagra tyagi

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

woman's lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops