theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

Whats 1+1? The answer!

HOLY COW!

What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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