- Anti Joke

There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

I agree to the terms and conditions

Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

Hey, speaking of anti jokes, there is much in the bible that facinates me, but that I find to be... Very... Ilogical, but then again I know a lot about the spiritual to open the the possibility to the (maybe) fact that the answers lie in the spiritual realm or you know whatever you prefer to call it. But you know, God has existed for eternities eternal etc, forever, and only some few thousand years ago he decided to let there be light? Kinda makes sense to why he was such a hardass in the first testament, I mean wow it must have been depressive for eternal eternities until he created light huh? Maybe he slept as many other Gods tend to do in a theological perspective. The other that baffles me completely: God has an enemy known as Sin, that is so powerful that he must sacrifice his own son in order to keep it away? I mean has Sin ever sacrificed anything to good? In that way they would be opposites and not God sarcificing stuff as humans sacrificed stuff animals (and almost a son Iscaac right? Because you know God and Satan where kinda chummy and enjoyed betting and good sport... My viewpoint at least) And Now I just repeat myself, but if Light was Gods first invention, who created voice? Was it part of his being? Why was light not part of his being? Is light not the path to God? "The Light"? Its horsehead Network and I do not expect much of this site sincerely, but if you find the time, the care, the love and Guidance of God provides (yeah I am appealing to your Good Christian side) then please find it in your Jesus filled heart to leave me what you think is missing or perhaps I do not understand at all. And if I ever become a Christian again, ill tell God and Jesus that you where the person that got me there, put in a good word for eternal life huh? Get you and maybe even your mother and father that made you that kind with Gods guidance a nice V.I.P place up there huh? If there is a God out there, he loves all the same yeah, but he keeps favorites, I mean those that suffer eternally in hell... I don't like questioning what I do not understand to a certain tangible degree, but does he do this with the same love he treats those that go to heaven?

what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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