Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops