A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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