Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Vagina cream... end of story

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What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Prostate exam > Some of these Anti Jokes

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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