How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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I shot a bitch.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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