why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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anti-joke.com

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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Youre mom is so dead...

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What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

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What's bad about the the 3 black Jews that just died...... They were my friends

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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