A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

69

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops