What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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