Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

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Meow.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Hi.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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