There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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