Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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A black guy WALKS out of prison.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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