What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats long and black? a baton

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Kah-________-

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My name is never spelt right so its all good

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops