So dont touch it

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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This is not a joke.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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