a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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When I went on this website for the first time with a few friends, I was surprised to see a lot of these jokes were actually capable of making me laugh. But as I read on, eventually those funny, harmless jokes turned into offensive, ignorant, and very absurd statements. I realize that this 'anti joke' website was most likely created by a bunch of white people, because obviously white people are one of the most racest human beings, but all this is just too much! I guess I'm trying to say: if your going to make a joke, be respectful about it. America has gone through a lot of unforgiveable hardships and unfortunately these 'jokes' are making fun of all of that in a very offensive way.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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throbbing slobber

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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