A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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