Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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