I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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This is an anti-joke.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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