As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

poopy is poopy

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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