Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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like if your cool

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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