roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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school homewrok

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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