What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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