Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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9/11 my birthday

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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