Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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