Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops