A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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