What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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