How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

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I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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adam hodgson !

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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