Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The ability to live the life of a dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

homosexual rights to marriage

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops