What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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