roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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