- Anti Joke

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

Okay.

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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