Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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general tso's broccoli

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Of course, first door on your left

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Penis

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Shltskc gw? G

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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