Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

sky's sty

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

thumb_up thumb_down +6

2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops