What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops