A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Lewis

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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