A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A gay man watches football.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Holy Tulip Answer- Sexy Mofo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops