I walk into a bar...

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops